diary entry

    Today was great. I can hardly say anything else about my life. The Lord spreads mercy on my life like peanut butter on bread. It fills all the little holes and bits in my bread and I couldn't remove those blessings even if I tried to. 

    Samuel is doing great. I am learning a little more of his communications. I love to hold him and look at him and plan how I can help his life be all that it can be. I have a lot of hopes for the little guy.

    I went to the temple today. I am frustrated that I can't figure out the symbolism in the temple, and what's more frustrating is that no one else knows or will or can help me. I'm told a lot to "be patient, you'll learn it line upon line." But I don't think that is how it works to just wait patiently. I believe that knowledge has to be sought out in hot pursuit or you will never find it. But when I really think about it I am not searching in the right manner. I could be reading books and making a real effort, but I wish I could sit at the feet of someone and learn from them, rather than tarrying trying to find it. But I bet that is how it is meant to be. 

    Well I am going to go do a few more things around the house and then read my scriptures and go to bed. 

    Although I would like to express my feelings about school. I am reluctantly excited. I can't wait. I love learning. I love the environment. I love the feelings and all that comes with that sphere of academics and learning. But I long to help Kylie, but I am afraid that I can't do it all. I have been helping Kylie around the house and I worry that she won't even be able to do some of the basic things like laundry and meals. I need her help in that area, but the problem is that she needs my help in that area, which really makes us helpless in that area. At least these are my feelings and fears. I don't doubt that Kylie is capable, but it is difficult. Although I say to my self she should be able to do those bare basics, but for some reason she can hardly take care of herself (sleeping, eating herself, showering etc.) let alone do things around the house. She has tried. I can see her honest effort. 

    And what's more ... I was hoping that we could get the menu set in motion ( we have a great menu plan by the way) and get the craft room organized, but again Kylie can barely get through the basics let alone put time into projects like that. I don't blame her. Although I am a little irked about putting pictures on Facebook and trying to do other projects that she really wants to do. But I am learning that it is better to let the person use their agency. For the most part people know when they are doing wrong and they usually say sorry. Kylie apologized to me today. She got distracted and then told me she was sorry and knew she should have been working on those projects. So I can see that she knows right and wrong and such. I figure it is better to let the person work through it that try and meddle with their personal life. Although the spirit can prompt a person to say something. "Reproving betimes with sharpness when moved upon by the spirit," is what it is called. It's the "when moved upon by the spirit" part that is important. 

Anyway I feel a little more reality about what the spirit has been telling me. I want to obey the Lord and be like my Savior Jesus Christ. And I can too.