in response to michael lavers asking how i am doing and if i want to meet

michael,

 

i feel a great burden lifted from me. i can’t tell you home much of a relief it is to take a moment and breathe out from under the rock of my thesis. though i do feel like it will return to it, i find myself pursuing other ventures (stageplays and, well, honestly, trying to find a job that can take care of the less artistic things in life (though i was at this tea ceremony the other day, it was in this unfinished room that was between unfinished rooms (it was perhaps the most liminal space i have even been in) and there was this woman who was trained in the ways of traditional japanese (i think) tea ceremonies, and we (all seven of us men) sat in resilient silence as she slowly washed the tea bowls out with hot water (swirling them about) and then she passed them one by one to each of us, from hand to hand down from one man to another, and all i could do was look deeply into the tea and lower my head into its smell and then just be overwhelmed by the simplicity of it. i mean i was kneeling there on a folded wool blanket thinking to myself that i had not taken the time to enjoy washing my spoons or sweeping or even the act of unlocking my door at night, and all i wanted to do was take the moment to enjoy turning a doorknob or be completely passionate (but slowly and methodically so) about opening my drapes in the morning, but all of this is to say that there is some art to our lives, or that i could feel the sort of attention to detail that i give to poetry in everything and in every way. i suddenly feel that if i spent my whole attention and method to how i stepped out of the car when i was finished driving, like i took a deep breathe and i really thought about what i was doing and how i was doing it and then gave my whole self to the art of stepping out of a car, then, yes, it would be an art. 

 

life is good. 

 

my family is doing well. i suppose the best way to describe how they are doing is to take a look at my wife’s instagram, and i must say, i loved the video of magda flying a kite. she looked so very pleased at the process. and i really do think that process is my new mantra. i have been telling people that i am not a progressivist, i am a processivist. 

 

summer won’t pull me too hard. i am hoping to adjunct somewhere, but i may just end up driving lyft and taking whatever odd jobs i can through the summer, until i find a job. i did apply to adjunct at university of utah, westminster and utah vally university. i also applied for a position at university of utah as an acquisitions editor, but who knows. 

 

i would love to meet. i feel more able to do that, and i could talk about stuff all day. 

 

i am sad that i am not in your workshop, so, yes, it has been too long, just enough too long, not long overdue, i wouldn’t say, but just overdue, like freshly spoiled milk that is too tart to drink, but hasn’t yet swollen the carton. 

 

when?