The couple sitting across from me in the library were a healthy couple. The man was tall and had a confident amount of scruff on his chin, and the woman was blonde and lean and clear skinned. When they left there stuff at the table I was seized with the sudden notion to move their stuff. I had noticed both of them, and I was recently under the suspicion that association and proximity were one of the best ways to harbor new talents and abilities. Thus I moved their backpacks and computers onto my own table nearby, so that when they returned they would be puzzled and I could act innocent in their face and they would move back to their table and continue on in their studies etc.

When they did in fact return, I was surprised that they came straight to my table and sat down with out batting an eye (not even to each other). And began to take up their studies again. I was confused myself. Had they not realized that they had been relocated? Did they not feel uncomfortable sharing their space with me. Now the man was sitting face to face with me across the table. His stubble was all the more clear. The woman next to him was also closer, and I felt as if I needed to get up and get a drink of water myself. I did in fact get up, leaving all my things at the table.

I soon found that I was too embarrassed to return to the table. And so instead I grabbed a book from the sampler section and began reading it, but not paying any attention to the book. Soon my phone, which I had left at the table, began to ring, and then things start to get really ridiculous, because a tiger somehow found it’s way into the library and people were cheering and saying how cool it was that the buy that was sitting across from me was talking to my mother on the phone while wrestling the tiger. Then the woman was riding the tiger out of the library and the man hung up the phone and followed her, and I was left in awe wondering how I hadn’t been at the table with them and taming the tiger myself.

I knew at this point why I feared these people. They were not normal people. They had talked with my mother on the phone like they were friends (my mother hardly ever calls, or hardly even sustains a call when she does) and they were riding tigers as if it was the new fashionable thing to do.

In fact weeks later more and more people were riding tigers around campus, and I realized that I was not comfortable starting fashionable things. I was under no circumstances, let alone tiger riding circumstances, the least bit confidents.

It wasn’t until the following week that there was another couple in the library equally healthy that I decided I needed to transfer schools. You have to understand. Couples like this scare the crap out of me. I don’t know how to talk to them. I don’t know how to do what they do. The other day I tried riding my dog at home and failed miserably, either because the dog was too weak to hold me up, or because I was too much of a wimp to hold onto the dog hard enough.

In the end I stopped moving peoples things, and I stopped having the same stupid inclination to associate with people who were so confident.