prayer [three]

god, when the moon first was shining what did you say. I am told from the scriptures that you said, after the world was created, ‘it is good.’ but poets of yours have said so much more. do you write your own poetry. do you explore the depth and magnitude of what you are doing through expressive means such as writing. I can’t imagine saying that something is simply good, even if that something is the earth and all its living. but when you saw that moon shining, were you standing on the earth as I am now, looking at it come down at you softly with rough wind in the background. I wonder if you lived for several millennia on this earth before you turned it over to us, before we rubbed our bodies all over it. I imagine that you wanted to perfect the desert. I imagine you wanted it to be beautiful and deadly. I imagine that you experienced the beauty, and you intuited the deadliness. since you do not die anymore do you only intuit death. does one only need to die once to really understand it. or, having the power of death, do you molt the body, do you die to remind yourself what death is, how it is pleasant and terrifying. can death be terrifying if you are capable of overcoming it. what is death to you. it must not be what you thought it was when you were my age. I do fear death. I fear it like I fear tomorrow—the unbroken day. I fear it like the snap of a neck or the snap of a glow-stick. every time I snap one I fear that it will spill. I fear that it will break the outside with the inside. and when it doesn’t I shake it until the substance inside glows. god, when you were a younger thing, did you ever imagine you could be the most ultimate thing in existence. is it sad that you can no longer progress. do you feel damned now that you have reached the end. they say that you can create planets and stars and children to an endless amount, but does that satiate you. will I ever be satiated. will I ever avoid complete hunger. have you embraced the terrors of hunger and pain. I wonder if you still get sunburnt. that’s not true. I don’t think that you ever do get sunburnt. let me honestly say that you are enigmatic to me as much as I am enigmatic to myself. I wonder that the way you walk may be perfect. do you care about style. do you car to wallow when you weep. do you mind weeping to your friends. do you have friends. what do you do with your friends. do you just have children, child after child, with the woman of your dreams. do you ever get lonely. and how is mother. promise me, promise me, god, that you will never die. promise me that you will never become a devil. I know that it can happen. I know that it has happened before. I wonder that there are fallen gods. I wonder how that happened. I wonder that I am not a soul on one of those planets. I wonder that you may still be searching for some way to rescue them, or maybe you dismiss them as someone else’s child, some group of people that you cannot help. god, I live in an age where there is too much to sympathize with, and I wonder if you spend half or most of your day just weeping, just sympathizing in some passionate way. I wonder if the solar flares of the sun are not reflective of the flares of , what , your anger. I am told not to become angry, and yet you do it. you anger well, I imagine. I think you anger well. could you teach me how to anger well. could you teach me about warring well. I want to have sex like a god. is it simple. is it paranormal. is it any different. people here get bored with it. if you are coital until the end of time do you get bored. god, I can’t imagine how you deal with boredom. I fear that you may get bored. they say you are the same yesterday, today and forever, but I don’t understand how you can enjoy that. do you not enjoy any amount of ephemerality. I believe you do it somehow, but I want to understand your perspective. I even wonder if perspective has anything to do with it.