dear god. or shall I call you father. what shall I call you. a ghost. a great ghost. a large and bodiless ghost. I think I will call you what you are. dear man. dear man who knows all things. dear man who can't possibly know all things. how do you know all things. do you crawl over everything with your fingers. is it that you know the world conceptually. do you know things intimately. I am told that you know how many hairs are upon my head. is this because you know how the wind blows and how the atoms move. is this because you know me. is this because you are the internet. is this because you are light and love and there isn't a thing that doesn't have one or the other. there on the hill is a mixture of light and love blowing in the wind like grass, and I am about to lose myself. I am about to come to the end of the earth and fall off. there I will fall forever as the body is stripped from my soul by the wind, and then my spirit will be stripped from my brain and then all that will be left is my consciousness, and it won't fall because there is nothing left to fall, and it won't be conscious of anything other than nothing. when I am left with nothing what is there to be conscious of. when I am stripped of body and spirit, what can my invisible eyeball witness with. what is that state like, dear man. dear man above or around or off in the great distance. tell me that. what am I and what is it like to be nothing. to be conscious and to be nothing. what is it like to be a pure intelligence. tell me lord [for I want to worship any being that has answers to these questions] tell me what this would be like. to be without any substance. to be without any stuff. to just plain be. what will I think through. what will I think of. what can I remember. and what can I be. what is the noise. what is the silence of such a state. I will worship any person that can give me such an answer. I will not worship anything. I do not worship things. I do not worship aliens. I will not worship a pigeon or cow. I cannot adhere or become a cow. if there is some immortal me out there, then let him tell me the answers. let him tell me what I do not know. let me hear his explanation of the existentialism that is filling my soul. dear man in the sky. dear god. dear deity. tell me your secrets, please.