when I lost my arm, it remained as a phantom. there extending from my shoulder was the impression of an arm. there I felt it swinging. there I felt it attempting to complete a while hug. there I felt it like a shadow, acting out childish activities, like my two year old who I find toddling about in the room . there only within my peripheral vision and feeling.
and I kept feeling the phantom tickling people whenever I stood in line buying groceries. they couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel it either. I couldn't stop it either. I would just know it. I found myself standing an arms reach away from my wife because the phantom limb would often grab her neck and flex its finger around her throat in a careful and menacing way. whenever this happened I would have to wait until it's grasp relaxed or would have to feel the terrible pain of the limb being torn asunder.
I thought to atrophe the limb, but it grew I such a way that it was large and muscular. the bicep became the size of my thigh and the length extended to the same length as my leg. the arm continues to grow in its reach and in its strength.
I found myself holding onto, grasping, and touching all sorts of things without actually feeling it but all the while knowing that my phantom hand was touching it.